Turkey Noodle Soup

Oh the leftovers.  How do I love thee? You don’t?  Why?  It’s the best part.  Just don’t make sandwiches and you’ll be fine.  Try this instead. 
I love this soup with unholy love.  The broth alone tastes like warm mittens and grandma’s kitchen and hugs.  Plus it’s pretty much like a flu-shot, because it will kill a cold stone dead*.

The carcass of the beast: leftover giblets such as neck and heart, all bones, any discarded skin

2 cups dry white wine

      3 ½ quarts water

4 carrots—2 coarsely chopped, 2 sliced 1/4 inch thick

4 celery ribs—2 coarsely chopped, 2 sliced 1/4 inch thick

1 sweet potato, chopped

1 unpeeled onion, quartered

1 large garlic clove, smashed

1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns

1 large fresh bay leaf

6 oregano sprigs (sticks? Pieces? The branch they come on, don’t work for it)

2 thyme sprigs

2 rosemary sprigs

1 lemon, halved

Kosher salt

½ pound  noodles (Splurge on the good stuff or make your own)

      ½ pound shredded turkey leftovers, mostly dark meat if possible

       ¼ cup finely chopped flat-leaf parsley


In a giant stockpot pour the wine over the carcass and heat on medium high until fragrant.  Add water, chopped carrots and celery, onion, garlic, peppercorns and herbs; bring to a boil. Cover partially and simmer over low heat for 45 minutes to an hour. Place a strainer over a large heat-proof bowl and spoon all large bits into it.
Add the sliced carrots, celery and sweet potatoes to the broth, cover and simmer until just tender, about 12 minutes. Pour any juices that have accumulated in the bowl back to the pot.  Add the noodles, turkey and parsley to the pot and bring to a simmer for about 10 minutes. Ladle the soup into bowls and serve hot.

*This claim has not been verified by the FDA, or any legitimate study, or anyone but me.  You know it’s still true.

Pumpkin Pie

I’ve tried exotic variations on this plan, and my honest advice is this: Don’t.  Just do basic so god damned well people fall over with shock at how much better yours is from what they expected (their mom’s-don’t lie.) 

The first and most important part of that plan is crust.  Crust is not hard if you have a food processor, even a fairly crap one.  Trust me, I had a crap one for years.  This one is designed to be shatteringly crisp and meltingly buttery

1 1/4 cups unbleached flour

Pinch of salt

1 stick FREEZING cold unsalted butter, cubed

1/4 cup ice cold bourbon whiskey, from the freezer cold

In a food processor, pulse the flour with the salt. Add the butter and pulse until the size of peas. Drizzle in the whiskey and pulse until the crumbs are moistened; turn out onto a work surface. Gather into a ball, flatten, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

4 large eggs

½ cup sugar

1 tablespoon cornstarch

2 teaspoons cinnamon

½ teaspoon cloves

½ teaspoon nutmeg

½ teaspoon ginger

½ chipotle chili

Pinch of salt

One 15-ounce can pumpkin puree (yes, canned, making your own SUCKS & isn’t any better)

½ cup heavy cream

Preheat the oven to 350°.  Lightly flour a large, flat surface, then roll out the chilled pie dough to a 13-inch round about ¼ inch thick. Fit the dough into a 9-inch glass pie plate and trim the overhang to an inch. Fold the dough under itself and crimp decoratively-the dough will shrink during baking, so build it up over the edge more than you think it will need.  Refrigerate the pie shell for 10 minutes.  I like to cut the remaining dough into tiny pumpkins (cookie cutter) and put them onto the center of the pie the last few minutes of baking.  It’s super cute and impressive without adding that much more work

Line the pie shell with foil and fill with pie weights (I’ve also used marbles, lima beans and cookie cutters.  The first 2 work, the last, not a good idea.)  Bake in the center of the oven until just set, about 25 minutes. Remove the foil and weights and bake until the crust is pale golden, roughly 10 minutes. Let it cool down a bit.

In a bowl, whisk the eggs with the sugar, cornstarch and spices. Whisk in the pumpkin puree, then the cream. Pour the filling into the crust. Bake for 45 minutes, or until the custard is set. Let the pie cool; enjoy the rave reviews. 

Note: I usually bake the custard WHILE we eat lunch.  It saves space, makes the house smell delicious, and nobody’s eating it until later anyway.  Trust me, they’ll be so full they’ll need a breather while it cools.

Crispy Skinned, Juicy Turkey

No, seriously, this thing was bad-assed.  I started the campaigning to scale back turkey cook times when I came home from college.  Less is really more, grandma!  The first time I was in charge of dinner, I spent A MONTH researching turkey recipes.  I’ve been perfecting this thing for four years, and this time was honestly the best.  Typically, I’ve been a dry-brine girl, but this time I mistakenly bought the wet kind and rolled with it.  Now I’ll never go back.  It’s time and space consuming, but dear sweet potatoes is it worth it.  Buy the brine.  The math on the cost control works in your favour, I promise. 

1 13-15 pound turkey

1 pkg of brine prepared as per instructions (with one key exception, I used pots of lapsang souchong (a smoky tea) instead of ½ the suggested regular water.)

2 sticks of unsalted butter, melted

2 tablespoons baking powder                              

3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary

1 tablespoon fresh thyme

1 tsp alderwood smoked sea salt

1 tsp fresh cracked pepper

4-6 strips of thick cut bacon

2 granny smith apples, quartered

1 large onion, quartered

Brine turkey for at least eight hours (I accidentally went in for 18, but that’s not necessary.)

Mix the baking powder (it’s what crisps the skin) with the butter, add in the herbs, salt and pepper.

Wash off the brine and pat turkey dry.  Carefully molest the turkey.  This part makes me feel super dirty, but it’s what makes everything taste better.  You insert your hand in between the meat of the bird and the skin, loosening it as you go.  Rub the butter mixture on and underneath the skin.  Be generous.  I like to air dry the turkey for about an hour at this point.  There’s always something else that the oven can be baking.  Or you can do what I did and join your area’s local Turkey Trot and run/walk a few miles to justify all the calories you’re about to be stuffing down your gullet. 

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Drape bacon slices over the turkey to add flavor and prevent over darkening.  Scatter the apple and onion pieces around the bottom of the roasting pan.  These are just aromatics.  Roast the turkey breast side down for 2 and a half hours.  Remove turkey and flip to breast side up.  Turn oven up to 475.  Roast an hour and a half longer, or until thickest part of the thigh registers 170 degrees.  Remove turkey from oven and flip breast side back down.  Allow turkey to rest for AT LEAST 30 minutes.  This is not a suggestion.  If you skip this part, all of the work you just did will still net you a dried out yucky turkey.  Leave it alone so the juices redistribute before carving and you’ll be rewarded with the best turkey in EVER.

Spiced Sweet Potatoes

I despise things with marshmallow topping.  Gross, eck, ewe.  These are the opposite of sticky-sweet.  They are spicy, boozy, creamy and eat-them-till-you-vomit delicious.  I make them for holiday potlucks, and people steal the recipe and make them for their own family get-togethers, I make it for my own family and they whine about lack of marshmallows.  Philistines!  They’re great; enjoy.
 

2 large, evenly shaped sweet potatoes, thinly sliced

½ cup bourbon whiskey

½ cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon cinnamon

½ tsp salt

½ tsp chipotle chili powder

½ tsp ancho chili powder

½ tsp cloves

½ tsp nutmeg

½ tsp allspice

½ galangal root powder

1 tsp black mustard seeds

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Whisk cream and whisky, then whisk in spices.  In a large baking dish, arrange the potatoes in an overlapping concentric circle, building upwards into the middle.  Pour Spiced cream over top.  Bake covered with foil for 20 minutes, then uncovered for 20 more or until sweet potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork.  If they dry out during baking, add more whiskey.  Liquor makes everything better.  This can also be made a day or two prior and refrigerated until the big moment.  Which makes it ideal for potlucks as well. 

Chestnut Stuffing

This year I went both adventurous and cheater with my stuffing.  Target sells whole wheat bread bits for, like, two dollars, and while I normally make fresh bread and dry it, this saved me so much time and effort I couldn’t help myself.  And it was GOOD.

1 1/2 pounds DRY wheat bread torn into 1-inch pieces

1 1/2 tablespoons fennel seeds

4 ounces thick bacon, sliced 1/8 inch thick and diced

1 small rosemary sprig

1 dried red chili, stemmed and broken in half

1 small onion, chopped

1 small fennel bulb, diced

1 1/2 teaspoons fresh thyme

Salt and freshly ground pepper

1 tablespoon grated lemon zest

3/4 cup dry white wine

2 1/4 cups chicken stock-Use SWANSON’s if not using homemade

6 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 pound of chestnuts, roasted as per pkg directions (If, like me, you’re new to chestnuts, cut them deeply before roasting and enjoy the scent while they’re in the oven)

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

3 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley

 

Preheat the oven to 400°.

In a skillet, toast the fennel seeds over moderate heat until fragrant and lightly golden, about 2 minutes.

In the skillet, heat the bacon and cook over high heat, stirring, until crisp, about 3 minutes. Lower the heat to moderate, add the rosemary and chili and cook for 1 minute. Add the onion, fennel, fennel seeds and thyme and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring, until the vegetables are lightly caramelized, about 8 minutes; discard the rosemary and chili. Stir in the lemon zest and add to the bread.

Set the skillet over high heat. Add the wine and bring to a boil, scraping up the browned bits. Boil until reduced to 1/3 cup, about 4 minutes. Add the chicken stock and bring back to boil. Pour the hot stock mixture over the croutons and toss well.

Add the chestnuts to the stuffing and let cool completely. Add the eggs and parsley and toss well.

Transfer the stuffing to a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil and dot the stuffing with the remaining 3 tablespoons of butter. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until crisp on top.

Make ahead!  Take the smart, oven freeing option.  Unless you’re the proud owner of a giant Wolf that can fit a 15 pound turkey plus sides, oven space will be at a premium on the day of.  So bake the stuffing, covered with foil, for 30 minutes then refrigerate overnight the night before. Then wait till the turkey’s out of the oven and is resting to pop the stuffing back into the oven and heat covered until cooked through, about 20 minutes, then uncover and bake for 20 minutes longer.

Cranberry, Orange & Ginger Chutney

Cranberries are super easy, wonderfully tasty, and highly rewarding.  I have no idea why anyone would eat that crap they put in cans.  Typically, I will just put two pounds of cranberries over heat with a cup of OJ and a half a cup of sugar, but I finally made the variation with ginger work (it had thwarted me since 2007.)

1 cup orange juice, low or no pulp preferably

2 pounds fresh cranberries

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

½ cup packed brown sugar

½ cup bourbon whiskey

¼ cup grated fresh ginger

Zest of 1 lemon

On medium heat, sauté the ginger in the vinegar for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant.  Add the orange juice, brown sugar, and 1 pound of the cranberries.  Stirring occasionally, allow all the cranberries to pop open and begin to form a jelly, about 10 minutes.  Add lemon zest and the remaining pound of cranberries.  Stir frequently until about half of these cranberries have burst.  Add whiskey, stir, and remove from heat.  Transfer to serving bowl and chill.

The chutney can be refrigerated for up to 1 week.  So you can make it well ahead of the Big Day to save on stove space and aggravation.

Notes from Bluesmasters @ Crossroads

So, in the middle of nowhere is a Nowheresville called Salina, KS.  In this BFE there is a church, long since defunct, that was bought up by a blues recording studio.  Instead of Jesus, their stained glass has a guitarist.  Once a year they throw a two day blues bash with around five acts per night.  It gets loud.  The acoustics (church, remember?) are phenomenal.  This was my second time attending, and the fourteenth annual.  If you can get there, go.  Then go to the after parties.  No, being old is not an excuse.  This crowd is almost on medicare anyway. 
These are my notes.  And the bands were good too.

*The 87 yr old blues saxophone player is super happy to be here. He's not sure what this town is called (Saline?  Selena?) but he knows he likes it!  This man makes the Blues Brothers seem low key and mostly sane.  He also gets away with calling a crowd of people old enough to be your parents, “children.”  Because, hey, he’s old enough to be theirs.  Also, can he be my grandpa?  My grandpa was good, but this guy is nuts.  <3 him. 

*Fist Pump Guy is very sweaty in his mostly un-buttoned bedazzled Dragon shirt.  He is also REALLY EXCITED to see these bands.  REALLY.  Also, he is approximately 40-55 years old.  Yes, this is someone’s father.  Be sorry for that someone.

*Differences between AARP black & white folk:

- 40 year old white girls shake their booties while getting up for the bathroom, then apologize to those around them.

-40 year old black girls

A:  Dance

B:  Call & response (Amen!)

C:   Know the lyrics

            D:  Dance better, or

E:  all of the above.

Is this a question? It's always E!

*The bassist from the Robert Cray band wants to have the sex with you-ALL of the yous-but then later he will wear you as a coat.  Seriously, this is the best serial killer cover ever.  Blues people travel to BFEs all over the world.  They stay for a day or two.  Heck, if he’s ever watched NCIS/CSI/COPS he’ll be able to hide the bodies well enough that he’ll have blown town before they even know someone’s gone missing.  I think someone should Google the tour schedule and cross reference it with missing persons.  But then, I’m not from the town it was held in, so if I went missing, my name wouldn’t pop up.  See?!  This is made of win.  If getting away with killing people and wearing them as apparel can be considered a win.  Hmmmm.

*Regardless, for 50$, this was a weekend well wasted.  And if you’re over 21, all the performers--yes, even the 87 year old one—get down at the Ramada Inn Ballroom until 2am for the after party.  And that’s free of any charge but what you choose to drink.