Friday, October 28, 2011

Notes from Bluesmasters @ Crossroads

So, in the middle of nowhere is a Nowheresville called Salina, KS.  In this BFE there is a church, long since defunct, that was bought up by a blues recording studio.  Instead of Jesus, their stained glass has a guitarist.  Once a year they throw a two day blues bash with around five acts per night.  It gets loud.  The acoustics (church, remember?) are phenomenal.  This was my second time attending, and the fourteenth annual.  If you can get there, go.  Then go to the after parties.  No, being old is not an excuse.  This crowd is almost on medicare anyway. 
These are my notes.  And the bands were good too.

*The 87 yr old blues saxophone player is super happy to be here. He's not sure what this town is called (Saline?  Selena?) but he knows he likes it!  This man makes the Blues Brothers seem low key and mostly sane.  He also gets away with calling a crowd of people old enough to be your parents, “children.”  Because, hey, he’s old enough to be theirs.  Also, can he be my grandpa?  My grandpa was good, but this guy is nuts.  <3 him. 

*Fist Pump Guy is very sweaty in his mostly un-buttoned bedazzled Dragon shirt.  He is also REALLY EXCITED to see these bands.  REALLY.  Also, he is approximately 40-55 years old.  Yes, this is someone’s father.  Be sorry for that someone.

*Differences between AARP black & white folk:

- 40 year old white girls shake their booties while getting up for the bathroom, then apologize to those around them.

-40 year old black girls

A:  Dance
B:  Call & response (Amen!)

C:   Know the lyrics

            D:  Dance better, or

E:  all of the above.

Is this a question? It's always E!

*The bassist from the Robert Cray band wants to have the sex with you-ALL of the yous-but then later he will wear you as a coat.  Seriously, this is the best serial killer cover ever.  Blues people travel to BFEs all over the world.  They stay for a day or two.  Heck, if he’s ever watched NCIS/CSI/COPS he’ll be able to hide the bodies well enough that he’ll have blown town before they even know someone’s gone missing.  I think someone should Google the tour schedule and cross reference it with missing persons.  But then, I’m not from the town it was held in, so if I went missing, my name wouldn’t pop up.  See?!  This is made of win.  If getting away with killing people and wearing them as apparel can be considered a win.  Hmmmm.

*Regardless, for 50$, this was a weekend well wasted.  And if you’re over 21, all the performers--yes, even the 87 year old one—get down at the Ramada Inn Ballroom until 2am for the after party.  And that’s free of any charge but what you choose to drink. 

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