Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Attack of the SUV Monster!

I run at night.  I know, I know, not the brightest, but it’s not without its perks, and the reality I’ve smacked into is that no matter how many times I say “I’ll just get up and go in the morning,” this never, EVER happens.  Not even once.  The benefits package of night running includes but is not limited to: watching the moon wax and wane, cooler temperatures *super important as most of this week was 100 degrees, and crazy people who like to, er, mess, with runners.

Last night I ran 3 miles. Shut up real runners, just keep it zipped. I was doing my 1st legitimate tempo run and, oh yeah, still in my first 30 days getting back in after a heaping serving of laziness and injury.

I was in the home stretch, speeding up for a nice chunk of faster.  There was a white SUV right beside and to my right.  Within easy touching distance.  As I moved past the driver’s side back fender, it powered up lights, big engine, big roar.

This is Me:

SCREAM: “Oh Jesus!”

HANDS: those would be jazz hands of terror you see waving by.

FEET: scurry like crack addicted mice. Skitter, skitter, wait how am I up on the opposite sidewalk?

HEAD: have the aliens come for me?
Somehow, I keep running (to be honest, slow jogging) despite the laughter howling like spider monkeys from my body.  Though I did have to keep it to a slow jog for a bit cuz my hands were all tingly from adrenaline and my breathing was that of a wounded hippo.

Seriously, I’m pretty sure that A: I squealed like a six year old girl; B: I could not process that it was just a car and not some scary monster trying to eat my soul, and C: the people in that car did it on purpose. 

I don’t hold a grudge, pretty sure I’d have laughed too-oh, wait I did.

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